worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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