Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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