Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
