I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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