there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dignity is for republicans.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
