He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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