just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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