Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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