Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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