I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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