I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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