Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My pussy is not your playground.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
