Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
