I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
