Please, let me fuck your mom
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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