I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I want is dick and wine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
