is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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