Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
