There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
