We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
