Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
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