I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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