lets start a swedish sibling band together
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
