i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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