I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
