i jhust puked up my retainher.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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