But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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