Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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