Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
my liver is dry heaving
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
