she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
