I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize