I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
