i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"