my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS