he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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