It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i now understand why vodka
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
