Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
