At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
