your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
