Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms