It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize