Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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