i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
