We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
