ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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