I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
