sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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