Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
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I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
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I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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