Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
