I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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