Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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