is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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