I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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