I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
