our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
