I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize