why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
