hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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