Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
