I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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