I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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