if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How does one acquire holy water?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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