I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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